Eating out and the Sin of Gluttony

 Convenience can often equal gluttony.  

This comes in many forms.  On line ordering of needed (or often wanted) products is quick and easy, and usually based on impulse rather than any sort foresight.  

Digital media is only a few clicks away, and gratification is pretty much instant.  

But right this moment, I'm talking about food.  Glorious food, prepared and hot and delivered directly to my door.  

This might be one of the best things to emerge from the pandemic and how it has affected the world and the life I live.  In most cases, the whole pandemic and ensuing lockdowns and restrictions placed on societal norms has little affect on me.  I'm kind of a solitary creature, some might even say a curmudgeon.  So the idea that social gatherings have been restricted is not exactly limiting to me.  And lets face it, I hope like hell they go back to only letting so many people into a grocery at a time.  Shopping like that is absolutely amazing.

But pre-covid, the options for food delivery were fairly limited.  The bigger cities of the world have been enjoying food delivery for a long time.  But, here on the north coast it has been limited to very few options.  But not that delivery is pretty much expected, and really a necessity for a small business to survive, its truly a benefit to me.  

Take tonight for example.  What to eat.  I don't want anything specifically.  Some things always sound good.  Pizza?  Always.  Something with french fries on the side?  Oh yes.  But sometime that just feels gluttonous.  Do I need something so savory and salty in my gut?  I mean, lets face it, it wouldn't hurt me to gain a few pounds.  I'm skinny, and probably overly so.  My eating habits are deplorable. 

Lets look at my breakfast:  Coffee.  Double Stuff Golden Oreos.  That is not exactly healthy.  But really, if you haven't dipped a golden Oreo in coffee, you absolutely must.  Its sooooooooo delicious.  

But anyway, back to dinner, and the great ordering dilemma I'm facing.  

Tonight, we are talking about subway sandwiches.  Which is not anything fancy, that's for sure.  But it sure is plenty tasty.  And the pastrami.  I don't know how pastrami is graded in terms of quality.  But I'm guessing Subway doesn't spring for the high quality.  But it's oh so good.  With pepper jack and banana peppers.   My mouth literally watered just thinking about it.  

I often sit down to a sandwich, thinking I'll eat half now, and half later.  And then, somehow, the whole thing is gone.  And I eat fast.  So its barely eating.  Its mostly consuming.  The only thing I tend to eat slower is chicken wings, and I believe that is purely a circumstance of them being messy, and that typically wings involve another person.  So its a social dinner.  

But when I am alone, there isn't a lot of talking.  Sometimes, I'll find Ive gon e most of the day without vocalizing a single word.  Its an odd realization when it occurs, but it sure does and strikes me odd every time.  I would think I would be used to it by now.  

Anyway, with that said, this rambling has gone on long enough, and is rather pointless aside from simply putting some of my thoughts to written word for my own benefit. 

Mind clutter.

 The amount of time I have spent lately thinking about running far outweighs the actual amount of time I have actually spent running.  Its a bit of a frustrating thing, really.  If we rewind just a scant 18 months ago, I was hitting double digits daily getting prepped for the Nanny Goat.  Since then, it has been a real hit or miss type of relationship with my motivation and work and life all seeming to get in the way of something I find I truly enjoy and love.  

It sucks, often, when I make excuses for not going.  Really, they are lame.  I have ample time.  It is kind of ridiculous how much time I have.  And even more ridiculous when I think about how much of that I waste by sitting around doing nothing.  

A good run, for me, is amazing for clearing the mind of clutter.  And I think, at times, I allow my mind to clutter up too easily.  I don't know what the root cause of this is.  Aside from what I know to be a problem:  over thinking.  

I'm a dweller on things.  I over think them to worst extent, I even create stupid and unreasonable reasoning behind my own over dwelt issues.  It is a vicious cycle.  One that has always been a problem for me.  When I discovered my love of the run, one of the side benefits was the mind clearing.  Often, this would occur somewhere mid-run, and last for quite some time after.  And as the running became more regular, the clutter was mostly gone, and left me feeling refreshed and clear.  

I don't think I noticed this right away.  but since I have, its become a rather important piece of my own well being.  And I extoll the virtues of the run to others, and encourage them to seek this on their own.  Yet for quite a while now, I have been neglecting me.

When it comes to well being, I know for a fact I have to be selfish.  I need to take that time.  I need to make a point addressing my own needs ahead of others.  There is nothing wrong with this. If I focus on me, all others will benefit from this.  A clear mind and better attitude will always have a positive effect on those that I am close to, and my relationships will be better for it.  

I'm feeling good today, and I plan to ride that out for a while.  Hopefully, for a long time to come.  I may be older these days, but I'm certainly not dead, and I need to get out more and live like those who love me expect me to.  In return, I can love them better.  

Although I do feel like I am getting off topic a bit.  But the end result is this:  I can be better.  Always.  Most times I feel like I am pretty good overall.  But then there are times when I know something is missing.  Then the cyclical thought process begins, and I tumble over ideas and allusions that compound on themselves, and I simply need to break that cycle.  

A good run, even just a three miler like today, makes all the difference in the world. I'm on a bit of a high right now.  I need to keep that going.   

Just a little random thought.

I had forgotten how much I love a computer.

I had a lap top.  I still do.  It collects dust.  I has much of the lifespan for which I have owned it.  

It just doesn't seem comfortable to use.  I just can't seem to get the feel of it sitting in my lap as "natural".  I feels awkward.  further, I have always looked for what I feel is the best "bang for my buck" deal when it comes to buying a computer.  

Computers have always held something of a special place in my heart.  I enjoy them.  From the net, to games, to watching movies.  IT really doesn't matter, I like them for what they are and can do.  

I remember when my father bought our desktop computer, circa 1992.  It was an IBM clone, as they were called back then.  It had Windows 3.1.  It had a monitor that was nowhere near the size or resolution of the one I am currently using now.  It used a 3.5 inch floppy AND and a 5.2 as well.  That seemed a luxury at the time.  But the state of floppy disks was changing then.  I suppose it was sort of like when VHS and Betamax were a thing.  One was gonna win. But overall, I think the 3.5" was more an evolution than an attempt to change the standard.  

Back then, I still remember buying and unwrapping the disks for my new game, Star Wars: X-Wing.  Quite possibly one of my most favorite games of all time.  I'm not even sure if it was really that good, but damn, I loved playing it.  I must have played it through to it's conclusion more than a dozen times.  The graphics were pixelated in the most glorious way.  My joy stick, a simple thing with a few extra trigger buttons, was the most amazing gaming device I had ever used.  It was digital heaven amplified by two little tiny desktop speakers that seemed like beasts pumping out the sound of proton torpedos and tie fighters exploding in the darkness of space.  And I was in it.  

What a difference we have now.  My monitor is massive, and displays at 2K resolution.  My desktop speakers are made by Bose and sound pretty damned awesome.  And Of course there is the internet, blazing fast generally integrated into nearly every facet of life.  

I remember when I would constantly get yelled at because mom needed the phone, so I had to get off of AOL.  

Nothing like that these days.  Hell, I don't even have a home phone.  

My little will never understand these things.  She gets confused when her iPod won't load up YouTube because we are in the car (never mind the fact I can use my own phone as a hot spot for that, which I often do for her).  

I don't know how people live off the grid.  Skates did that for a while.  She has told me about it.  It seems completely foreign to me in its idea.  to those people who have done it, my hat is off to you.  I'm too connected.  Which I don't mind.  Its simply who I am and what I do.

I certainly don't complain. I have my creature comforts and I am unashamed of loving them.  They are a simple part of my life.  Kind of like the pot of coffee in the morning.  It just is what it is.  

With that said, I'm gonna go play a game. With the volume up.  And loving it.